Mrs. Bostwick

I think every class of high school students has that one mother. The force that was silently omnipotent during high school, and even after, has a strange lurking presence. For my high school, I'd say that force would have to be Mrs. Bostwick. Since graduation, and I think actually on graduation day, each time I have run into her (and I mean that figuratively and literally - she nearly pinned me to the wall one time), she has brought up high school reunions. When? Where? Who is planning? Will I pinky-swear to get a start on it? She may be feeling double reunion pressure because she has twin daughters that are both in my class and as such she has a lot of people that she is curious to catch up on (or I mean for her daughers to catch up with).

No, seriously, Mrs. Bostwick is great. We need parents in our lives at these hectic times to help us remember the things that we know we'll want to have remembered more when we are older. That didn't make any sense, but oh well.

It's a cold day in HK and really rainy. I am in the apartment by myself writing for work and waiting for a delivery from Ikea. On occassions like this, my thoughts turn towards high school and the wonderful friends that I've kept in touch with over the years and in some cases actually reconnected with in a stronger way. We've seen each other through a lot and for that reason, I am always anxious to catch up with them whether over IM, postcard, or eggnog. This last holiday season, a couple of us got together at Justin's new house (or should I say mega-complex) for some Catchphrase and brownie action:



And while I am glad to see those friends that I've stayed in touch with, and am axious to catch up with others, the impending approach of my ten year reunion makes me really nervous. I think one of the reasons that we moved to Asia was so that I would throw off Mrs. Bostwick's trail. No, not really, but the unforeseen benefits continue to become apparent. Yet whether in Asia, Antarctica, or Topeka, I'll always be a member of the Class of 1997. So, 2007, here you come, and I supposed I really should drop Mrs. B a postcard. She'll know where we need to start.

Citizenship Tests

I was surprised to see some of the things that are asked on citizenship tests around the world. Pretty random...

http://www.iht.com/articles/2006/02/24/news/acitizen.php

Sounds

It strikes me today how for granted I take the sounds that place me in an environment or make me feel separated from it. It's the subtle things that can tie together a global life or make one feel disconnected from reality.

Surprisingly comforting. The murmur of announcements in a language I don't understand. The melodic, consistent music at Starbucks that brings together my breakfast routine across the world. The campanile on the church across the street which strikes out tunes like the bell tower on campus at the University of Kansas. Ding, ding, ding, strikes the hour of noon on Saturday. The honking of cab horns and low murmur of city life.

Surprisingly foreign. The barking of a large dog. A taped interview with President Bush. The same campanile, playing "Amazing Grace."

My Chinese Valentine - Pt. 2

So let's see where we last left off. Hua (our part time maid) was attempting to set me up on a date. She is Chinese (Hua and friend). I am American. Lack of understanding is the thing most common in our relationship. I am gay, although I am guessing anyone reading this already knows that but this whole situation has blown out of the water any reliability I can put in that fact. The maid is OURS (Eric and mine). My partner was upset because our maid had decided to set me up instead of him. Who needs Brokeback Mountain for a little unexpected gay-themed drama.



E.J. says:
oh my god
E.J. says:
hua just showed up with her friend
Eric says:
NO!
Eric says:
Shut up
Eric says:
you are joking me
E.J. says:
I am not sure who she is
E.J. says:
but she just invited me to eat an egg
E.J. says:
her friend is cooking
Eric says:
Oh my god
E.J. says:
i am so thoroughly confused
E.J. says:
We are going to have to have Heidy do an intervention
E.J. says:
I don't know what is going on
Eric says:
Do I need to come home??
E.J. says:
I am not sure if it is the same person from the pic
Eric says:
Her friend is cooking at our house??
E.J. says:
No, I think it will be all right
E.J. says:
but she has those sweet, cooked eggs
E.J. says:
that are dark
E.J. says:
and i am going to eat one
E.J. says:
she brought to show me
E.J. says:
I know it is well intentioned
E.J. says:
but ah!!!!!!!!
E.J. says:
I knew I should have stayed out today
Eric says:
AGHHHH!!!
Eric says:
I'm so sorry!
E.J. says:
Good change on your pic with IM
E.J. says:
It looks nice
E.J. says:
See what happens when you get an office
Eric says:
thanks
E.J. says:
I'll write once I've tried
E.J. says:
and I figure out how to make a polite exit
Eric says:
okkk
Eric says:
okkk
Eric says:
good luck
Eric says:
good luck
Eric says:
call if you need anything
E.J. says:
There is a lot of talk and work going on in the kitchen
E.J. says:
I feel paralyzed
E.J. says:
Almost like when that intruder was in the house
Eric says:
What are they doing!?!!?
E.J. says:
I don't know!!!!
Eric says:
Heidy wants to you know you want him to call...
Eric says:
her to call...
E.J. says:
I think I'd rather do the clean up on this when it's just me and her
E.J. says:
This could be really awkward
E.J. says:
and I don't want to sour Hua as she is really good
E.J. says:
Maybe we can try to do it tomorow?
E.J. says:
Maybe I am reading entirely too much into all of this,
Eric says:
Heidy is so worried if you accept the egg, and the cooking of lunch, then it's sending a bad signal
Eric says:
Heidy says you should RUN out of the house and come over here and we can go to lunch
E.J. says:
The eggs are in hand
Eric says:
and she can call and you can hand the phone to Hua and Heidy can tell her that you're sorry, but that you already had lunch plans with HER today.
E.J. says:
I've accepted
Eric says:
Oh ok ok
Eric says:
we'll leave you alone then.
E.J. says:
Hua brought it
Eric says:
and you can clean it up tomorrow
E.J. says:
not the friend
E.J. says:
I may still try to extricate
Eric says:
are they cooking you lunch?
E.J. says:
If you guys want to meet for lunch I wouldn't be opposed
E.J. says:
They brought those boiled dark eggs with them
E.J. says:
Still warm
Eric says:
ewwww
E.J. says:
Oh my gosh
Eric says:
what?
E.J. says:
I am not sure I can put this in my mouth
Eric says:
don't do it EJ
Eric says:
they're rotten
E.J. says:
I have to at least try
Eric says:
ok
E.J. says:
I got a picture
E.J. says:
Oh my god
Eric says:
what picture???
E.J. says:
what a strange thing
Eric says:
WHAT?
E.J. says:
It's like a super salty hard boiled eff
E.J. says:
egg
E.J. says:
Hold on
E.J. says:
I'll send it
Eric says:
ok
E.J. sends:
E.J. says:
Not actually as bad as I was expecting
E.J. says:
Hua just came wanting my review
E.J. says:
I don't know if I communicated
E.J. says:
so
E.J. says:
so
Eric says:
i don't even like LOOKING at that.
E.J. says:
You'd gag
Eric says:
I'm sure
Eric says:
we're going to lunch
Eric says:
do you want to go?
Eric says:
or...?
E.J. says:
Yes
E.J. says:
I need to get out

So without warning, Hua shows up today with her friend in tow. They bring me warm, rotten eggs. I freak out and IM for sanity and direction with Eric. Our fairy god friend Heidy offers counsel. Egg is eaten. I exit for a lunch, although I've already eaten (egg and actual lunch). Friend leaves at the same time I do, unintentionally, to go get a facial (yes, they knew this English word). End scene.

Now, what am I supposed to do? Heidy has counseled against any attempt to be open about my need not to be set up on dates unless in a very vague way. Her concern is ingrained bigotry and inability or undesirability of working after that comes out. I am a guest in this country and I want to be respectful, but Hua is a guest in our home. OUR HOME! I wish I had a nice ribbon to wrap around this and put it away, but I am really conflicted. I am leaning towards taking Heidy's advice if for no other reason than I just don't even know how I could be honest with Hua because of language barriers, and trying to be honest would I fear require some not so delicate translation by Heidy, which I don't feel comfortable with.

Mumbai's Exhaust Entrepreneurs

The poverty of India is striking, but not always consistently. There are places of complete isolation from poverty - foreign hotels, partial isolation - non-touristy streets, and near immersion - at a stop light in certain slum neighborhoods. When Eric and I were in India over Thanksgiving week, we saw many entrepreneurs at work in the later areas, taking advantage of the idle customers to try to sell a little something from a flower to a magazine. The International Herald Tribune had a really interesting story and photographic piece on Mumbai's street entrepreneurs that brought this to mind:

http://www.iht.com/slideshows/2006/02/19/asia/web.0219city.php

More often in the areas we were driven through, there was just begging, with young children knocking on the windows and staring in at us boldly. A couple used rocks or coins to slightly scratch the windows of the car and to peck away at the clear barrier between us, glass and cultural that it was. It was hard not to open the windows, but it was harder to open them. I had a real sense that the windows held out a tidal wave of people and that once opened, our car would be flooded.

Was this a real threat? It is hard to know. Our drivers warned us against opening the windows and reinforced a fear that I already had. I don't know that I've ever felt more privledged (and disgusted with that privledge) than I did as we traveled through India. Am I pleased with how I responded? Yes and no. I am glad that we went. I am glad that we saw. I am glad that we've learned. I realize and must continue to remind myself that self-preservation is usually a good instinct and that I am not directly responsible for the things that I saw on the street's of Mumbai. Do I continue to battle with the memories? Yes.

A Trekie in Hong Kong

At about 11:30 today, I sat down in front of the Hong Kong public library for a moment of sunshine and nibbling before entering the strict no-food confines of the public building. About halfway through my Pret-a-Manger sandwich, someone actually came and sat down across from me with the intent of talking! HK is such a business environment most of the time, this bold move of human exchange took me by surprise.


The HK Public Library

Peter is a HK native that studied for a while in Boston, although he said he played too much chess and ended up dropping out. I think I appeared to be a good opportunity for him to practice his English. Now, Peter is unemployed and waiting to start a technical school in April where he will study computer graphic design. As a 35+ person who has been out of the school environment for several years, he seemed fairly nervous about the year of study that awaited him but was anxious for further employment. Unemployment is something that you don't see often in HK. Although the rates are not much better than the US, homelessness and other visual signs of unemployment are much less apparent. This comes likely because the government provides fairly good assistance for many and homes for seemingly all. To meet and talk with Peter came only about 20 minutes after I saw my first "bag lady" in HK. With an American sized shopping cart, she was sitting in Victoria Park enjoying some sun.

Peter and I seemed to share many interests, but math, chess, and Star Trek were the ones that seemed to resonate with him. For me, math and chess are intricately linked as I learned to play and was most practiced in chess while in Math Club in high school. Eric forever laughs at me being Math Club President, but hey, it was fun. Growing up, I was also a large Star Trek: the Next Generation fan, watching weekly with my dad for years. Chess and Star Trek have long since left my daily routine, but who knows what the future may bring. Peter invited me to join a chess tournament that happens every Thursday at 6:30pm in Wan Chai. This qualifier for HK's official chess championship may be a possible stepping point to a renewed interest.

Rock Star - Dashan

Apparently, being white and living in urban but not Beijing or Shanghai, China makes one a bit famous. Children rush to you on the street to say hi. Managers and officials introduce themselves. Your anonymity is gone.

This has been the experience of a friend of mine, Lucas, who recently moved from St. Louis to Liaoyang, China. A city with more than 10 million people, Liaoyang is larger than HK, but Lucas finds himself one of two white people living there, at least that he has seen. Working at a small university/vo-tech, is certainly having an interesting experience and one very different from our HK adventure.

Apparently, the most famous westerner in China is a man name Dashan. As a student in China during the 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre, Dashan stayed unlike most westerners. This apparently cause Dashan to be catapulted into high regard by the Chinese government and now Dashan has made a career of being Dashan, China's white man. More information on his website:

http://www.dashan.com/

Lucas' students think he looks like Dashan, and he receives a smaller but similar rock star public reception. So, here I am with Liaoyang's Dashan. Lucas stopped over for the day in HK this weekend as he wraps up an 8-week vacation from school and heads back to Beijing and then home.

Take Care of Yourself so You Can Take Care of Those You Love

I've been going to yoga this week and loving it. It is such an amazing feeling. Sometimes I enjoy the tidbits of commentary and insight on life, like the title for this entry, but other times they make me want to scream. I decided to share this little bit of advice because it really resonnated with me when my yoga instructor said it. It's something I don't think I really realized until this last year, and everyday I realize more and more what a better friend and love one I am to those I care about when I take care of myself.

3 Pieces of Randomness

First, Hong Kong must have more delivery carts per capita than any other place in the world. I walked to the gym (about 3 blocks) and saw ten carts loaded with stuff. Each cart is about 2' by 4', metal, and built to fold flat. Very smart. Reminds me of another cool delivery invention I saw two days ago at the store. It was a Park 'n Shop (ironic that it's the biggest HK chain but no one drives) that was in the basement of a main street. At about 9pm, the delivery truck had arrive and the staff set up a massive chute to send packages flying down and thus to save their backs, though I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of a 12 pack of coke on one of those things.



Second, I just made "silver" in the Marco Polo Club, Cathay Pacific's (HK airline we fly most) frequent flyer program. No longer "green", I will now get to go into the fancy dancy lounge that Eric raves about. It's a whole secret world of business travelers and the luxuries they use to stay sane on the road. I will report.

Lastly, I wanted to bring up sailors. From what that paper said another US ship is docking here for the weekend. These are big events in HK that happens a couple of times per year. Many US families that are involved in the formal expatriate community host sailors for dinner. What is more interesting to me though is how all of my friends with daughters talk of these docking sailors as all their parental concerns incarnate. You'd think they left the ship like a band of roving plunderers and that their daughters were powerless against them.

My Chinese Valentine?

It was a surreal Valentine's Day here in HK. Chinese Valentine's Day was the 13th and so we expected little hoopla on the 14th but were met with streets that were filled with flowers. We kept it low-key and enjoyed an evening at home.

Today though, our maid, Hua, put me on the path to meeting my Chinese valentine. We have a hard enough time talking about the shopping or cleaning, let alone things related to life partners. Eric and I were sure she understood we are gay, in a committed relationship, and well, I guess that is about it.

Here is a snip-it of my IM session with Eric describing the situation. A couple of comments are added in --.

Eric says:
what did she say exactly?
E.J. says:
I feel tramatized by the afternoon
E.J. says:
Well
E.J. says:
First off
E.J. says:
She got stuck in here yesterday
E.J. says:
Wednesday
E.J. says:
and the once a month the elevator shuts down
Eric says:
what does that mean, 'stuck'?
E.J. says:
No sign was posted -elevator maintenance can sometimes cause surprise-
Eric says:
ohhhh
E.J. says:
Yeah
E.J. says:
Freaked her out
E.J. says:
she had to have her friend explain to me on the phone
E.J. says:
she was so upset
Eric says:
ohhh no
E.J. says:
I showed her how to get out the back
E.J. says:
Lots of hand shaking
E.J. says:
In any case
Eric says:
oh god
E.J. says:
after 20minutes of that I get to work
Eric says:
I'd be tramatized too i think
E.J. says:
and she starts cleaning
E.J. says:
Then she grabs the trash from my office
E.J. says:
including Heidy's chocolate box -great little dark chocolate present from our friend and Eric's coworker Heidy-
E.J. says:
She grabs and points to the heart
E.J. says:
And after much thinking
E.J. says:
Says that she has a friend in Shenzen
E.J. says:
I am just like, great, she has a friend
E.J. says:
But there was obviously something else
E.J. says:
She says something about girlfriend and me?
E.J. says:
Who knows what is being communicated at this point!
E.J. says:
I just tried to get back to work
E.J. says:
but she kept going
E.J. says:
Boss...told her friend her boss really tall
E.J. says:
I think she may have said something about meeting but I am not sure
E.J. says:
And then she whips out her phone
E.J. says:
Picture of friend
E.J. says:
Picture it...
E.J. says:
Confident woman sitting with legs crossed, hair back, and cigarette hanging from her mouth!
E.J. says:
What was I supposed to say?!
E.J. says:
I said it was great she had a friend
E.J. says:
and put my headphones on
E.J. says:
AH!!!
Eric says:
Heidy doesn't understand how she coudln't know that we are a couple.
E.J. says:
I know!
Eric says:
I told her people thought we were brothers
E.J. says:
It is insane!
E.J. says:
It is a funny story but I don't want to offend.
E.J. says:
Maybe you and I can have a double date with your reporter friend and Hua's friend Maybe they are meant for each other.
Eric says:
LOLOLO
Eric says:
maybe the reporter friend IS her friend
Eric says:
even weirder!
E.J. says:
Well
Eric says:
very funny
E.J. says:
It is a funny story
Eric says:
yes...very
Eric says:
but I still want to know why I'm not good enough -There is a whole subplot here with Eric wanting to know why he didn't get set up by our maid. I've edited out most of that for simplicity but leave a bit here.-
Eric says:
maybe because you're taller.
E.J. says:
You need to look scruffy to match her friend -I am two days unshaven and wearing a t-shirt. Eric made fun of me at lunch.-
E.J. says:
Believe me
E.J. says:
If you saw the picture it was no complement
E.J. says:
I think you orchestrated it all to give me incentive to shave and look nice
E.J. says:
I don't mean to be rude
Eric says:
haha
Eric says:
ohh nooo
E.J. says:
the cigarette
E.J. says:
it haunts me
Eric says:
hahahaha
Eric says:
So, did you end with her understanding that you dind't want to be set up??
Eric says:
or is there a date planned that you don't know about
E.J. says:
Who knows?! We'll see if she brings it back up or I just have to avoid the aptartment everytime that she comes.

Another Comic Disaster?

The recent protests over the Danish comic depictions of Muhammad has been quite interesting and surreal to watch unfold. It still seems as if I am reading the Onion every time I open the paper to headlines like, "Virgin Sacrificed to Protest Danish Newspaper Etiquette." Add to that headlines about VP Cheney's shooting practices and it for sure is the Onion, or not...

But I did have a point or a story here from a friend, Terri, that I heard tonight and wanted to share. She and her husband just got back from a week in Istanbul and along with the great castle they stayed in, friends they saw, and rugs and towels they brought back, Terri and her husband were one ring away from potential political disaster. As curious people they were fascinated by the call to prayer that occurred several times a day in Turkey. Apparently it is an impressive chanting...rhythmic in many ways...so much so that Terri recorded it for her ring tone for her cell phone. Luckily, they thought better of actually using this little melody or releasing the tone online.