Monday, February 28, 2005

An Odd Sense of Home

I wasn't expecting to connect to home today other than through my thoughts and through an online chat and phone call with my parents. I wasn't expecting it. But I can't stop thinking about it. Today they caught the BTK killer, a serial murderer who has been on the loose in Wichita, Kansas - not far from my home town of Topeka, and it was front page news here in Hong Kong. I was shocked. I know it's big news. I know its weird and disturbing to read about and thus an appealing headline, but this is Hong Kong. It's half a world away from the communities that have been horrified by the 20 years over which this BTK story has dragged on.

Yesterday I heard from my parents that the killer had been caught and to our surprise, one of their best friends had grown up with the guy and seen him for dinner several times over the last 20 years. The killer was a husband, a father, a civil servant, and from the sounds of it, about the last person you would suspect. While I am very glad that they caught him today and hope that this is actually an end to this crazy case, I am not sure that I want to read about my home again. Not in this way, as only a place like Kansas can make it onto the front page of an international newspaper. Because of something shocking. I wonder if the same mixed emotions run through the hearts of all those living away from places that they cherish. Excitement upon recognizing a name, a place, a situation, and then hurt and concern upon coming to the realization that the news cannot be good.

I don't want to read about Kansas tomorrow in the morning paper. Not unless I am reading a Kansas paper through a website. Then I will be prepared for what I see. When I wake up in the morning, I want to keep the illusion, at least for a few minutes, that there is nothing bad going on back at home. Nothing for which I should be concerned. This morning, BTK robbed me of that even as he was being arrested.

No comments: