My Chinese Valentine - Pt. 2

So let's see where we last left off. Hua (our part time maid) was attempting to set me up on a date. She is Chinese (Hua and friend). I am American. Lack of understanding is the thing most common in our relationship. I am gay, although I am guessing anyone reading this already knows that but this whole situation has blown out of the water any reliability I can put in that fact. The maid is OURS (Eric and mine). My partner was upset because our maid had decided to set me up instead of him. Who needs Brokeback Mountain for a little unexpected gay-themed drama.



E.J. says:
oh my god
E.J. says:
hua just showed up with her friend
Eric says:
NO!
Eric says:
Shut up
Eric says:
you are joking me
E.J. says:
I am not sure who she is
E.J. says:
but she just invited me to eat an egg
E.J. says:
her friend is cooking
Eric says:
Oh my god
E.J. says:
i am so thoroughly confused
E.J. says:
We are going to have to have Heidy do an intervention
E.J. says:
I don't know what is going on
Eric says:
Do I need to come home??
E.J. says:
I am not sure if it is the same person from the pic
Eric says:
Her friend is cooking at our house??
E.J. says:
No, I think it will be all right
E.J. says:
but she has those sweet, cooked eggs
E.J. says:
that are dark
E.J. says:
and i am going to eat one
E.J. says:
she brought to show me
E.J. says:
I know it is well intentioned
E.J. says:
but ah!!!!!!!!
E.J. says:
I knew I should have stayed out today
Eric says:
AGHHHH!!!
Eric says:
I'm so sorry!
E.J. says:
Good change on your pic with IM
E.J. says:
It looks nice
E.J. says:
See what happens when you get an office
Eric says:
thanks
E.J. says:
I'll write once I've tried
E.J. says:
and I figure out how to make a polite exit
Eric says:
okkk
Eric says:
okkk
Eric says:
good luck
Eric says:
good luck
Eric says:
call if you need anything
E.J. says:
There is a lot of talk and work going on in the kitchen
E.J. says:
I feel paralyzed
E.J. says:
Almost like when that intruder was in the house
Eric says:
What are they doing!?!!?
E.J. says:
I don't know!!!!
Eric says:
Heidy wants to you know you want him to call...
Eric says:
her to call...
E.J. says:
I think I'd rather do the clean up on this when it's just me and her
E.J. says:
This could be really awkward
E.J. says:
and I don't want to sour Hua as she is really good
E.J. says:
Maybe we can try to do it tomorow?
E.J. says:
Maybe I am reading entirely too much into all of this,
Eric says:
Heidy is so worried if you accept the egg, and the cooking of lunch, then it's sending a bad signal
Eric says:
Heidy says you should RUN out of the house and come over here and we can go to lunch
E.J. says:
The eggs are in hand
Eric says:
and she can call and you can hand the phone to Hua and Heidy can tell her that you're sorry, but that you already had lunch plans with HER today.
E.J. says:
I've accepted
Eric says:
Oh ok ok
Eric says:
we'll leave you alone then.
E.J. says:
Hua brought it
Eric says:
and you can clean it up tomorrow
E.J. says:
not the friend
E.J. says:
I may still try to extricate
Eric says:
are they cooking you lunch?
E.J. says:
If you guys want to meet for lunch I wouldn't be opposed
E.J. says:
They brought those boiled dark eggs with them
E.J. says:
Still warm
Eric says:
ewwww
E.J. says:
Oh my gosh
Eric says:
what?
E.J. says:
I am not sure I can put this in my mouth
Eric says:
don't do it EJ
Eric says:
they're rotten
E.J. says:
I have to at least try
Eric says:
ok
E.J. says:
I got a picture
E.J. says:
Oh my god
Eric says:
what picture???
E.J. says:
what a strange thing
Eric says:
WHAT?
E.J. says:
It's like a super salty hard boiled eff
E.J. says:
egg
E.J. says:
Hold on
E.J. says:
I'll send it
Eric says:
ok
E.J. sends:
E.J. says:
Not actually as bad as I was expecting
E.J. says:
Hua just came wanting my review
E.J. says:
I don't know if I communicated
E.J. says:
so
E.J. says:
so
Eric says:
i don't even like LOOKING at that.
E.J. says:
You'd gag
Eric says:
I'm sure
Eric says:
we're going to lunch
Eric says:
do you want to go?
Eric says:
or...?
E.J. says:
Yes
E.J. says:
I need to get out

So without warning, Hua shows up today with her friend in tow. They bring me warm, rotten eggs. I freak out and IM for sanity and direction with Eric. Our fairy god friend Heidy offers counsel. Egg is eaten. I exit for a lunch, although I've already eaten (egg and actual lunch). Friend leaves at the same time I do, unintentionally, to go get a facial (yes, they knew this English word). End scene.

Now, what am I supposed to do? Heidy has counseled against any attempt to be open about my need not to be set up on dates unless in a very vague way. Her concern is ingrained bigotry and inability or undesirability of working after that comes out. I am a guest in this country and I want to be respectful, but Hua is a guest in our home. OUR HOME! I wish I had a nice ribbon to wrap around this and put it away, but I am really conflicted. I am leaning towards taking Heidy's advice if for no other reason than I just don't even know how I could be honest with Hua because of language barriers, and trying to be honest would I fear require some not so delicate translation by Heidy, which I don't feel comfortable with.