Saturday, November 27, 2010

Abroad for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving to me is the strangest time to be away from the U.S.  It’s the holiday that uniquely pulls at our heart in ways, which cannot be eloquently described, to non-Americans, especially in another language.  Independence Day is special but it is less of a family holiday to me.  This year was a weird one for our family in that we are living abroad but also Eric’s mother is abroad, too, having recently moved to Africa as a part of the Peace Corps.  So, for us it must be strange, but I am sure it was also strange for our family back home.

While we were in Hong Kong, Thanksgiving was always a let down.  There really were very few options for celebrating it there and so we got very disappointed after trying hard to find something.  We happened to be in Bangalore, India, one year and also attempted to find something there but instead ended up at a Pizza Hut with a close friend.  This is all came as baggage to Thanksgiving 2010, and is probably why we tried to deny that it was going to happen or that we had any special sentiment about it.  We had not celebrated Thanksgiving in 2009 because we had just been placed with Dorothy for adoption the day before so our life was a whirlwind; the planned outing in Chicago with Eric’s dad and step-mom was not to be.  But Wednesday night silent desire had bubbled up in our sleep, and any pretense that we didn’t need to do something to celebrate the holiday was gone.  Thus began our Thanksgiving.

After my morning workout, I consulted Google and came up with some promising possibilities for a Thanksgiving meal.  Eric suggested Hard Rock CafĂ©, which is close, but its festivities were sold out.  I called three or four other places I found listed, but all seemed full or required reservations at least two days in advance.  We were striking out.  I kept Googling, found one more possibility and hopped in a taxi because I knew like Black Friday that if there were any opportunity here it was going to require the skills I had honed in years of garage saling with my mother and grandmother.  Break out the shin-guards; this might get ugly.

Taste of America is a small store which was actually pretty close to the first temporary apartment we had in Madrid but I’d never seen it.  Google had led me there as I looked for pies or other possibilities to add to a modest at home meal.  After jogging up the block from where the taxi dropped me, I saw the awning and started to get excited.  I could see lots of activity.  I cracked the door and tried to squeeze my way inside passed the line of people waiting to checkout.

Each time I find a new stash of American items that I haven’t had in months, I must admit to feeling a little crazed.  It’s not like we are starving or even suffering in selection opportunities but I think this reaction is still natural, particularly when you are already feeling homesick.  I can only imagine how Terry might feel when she comes to visit from Africa or after finishing.  So, entering, my hands start to grab really random items indiscriminately.  Caro syrup – oh I have to have that.  Crisco – I didn’t even know I was missing you!  Barely four feet in the door I took a deep breadth and realized I needed to take control of myself.  I had no basket and no idea what I was doing.  Then, I saw them – pies – apple, pecan, and pumpkin.  But each of the boxes had a name written on it; crap.  Was I again to be disappointed?  Then I saw one on display.  Moving in, I picked it up.  No name, but no box either.  I moved over to the proprietor of the store and asked if this one was taken?  After much checking, and a little disbelief, she said she didn’t think so.  I took that as no and was off.  I was in line, determined to purchase said pie before they realized they were mistaken or something.  After about 10 minutes, and a nice chat in line with a woman originally from Wisconsin running a cooking show on Spanish television (check it out), it was my turn to pay.  At the counter I was also able to grab cornbread mix.  Oh, I almost forgot my other success – bagels.  I’ve been searching for them for a month to feed a very odd craving.  So with all of that, it was back in a taxi to home to figure out how to bring this together into a coherent meal.

Thanksgiving night 2010 for us ended up as cornbread, chili, and apple pie a la mode.  Combine this with a previously ordained web chat with Eric’s mom who had Internet access just for the day, and that was our night.  While I worked some during the day, Eric had to work a full normal day, including several hours of Spanish lessons, so he was less than festive.  I think his Facebook status for the day summed up his mood – “Bah! Humbug!”  Things didn’t turn out as bad as they seemed they might at the beginning of the day but next year we’ll definitely both be taking the day off.  We have so many things to be thankful for and to celebrate together with food, fun, and a relaxed day.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

It’s Time to Experience

These last few months have been exhausting.  While fun and exciting, most of what moving abroad with a baby means is a lot of stress, logistics, and downtime spent worrying about the many things you’ve neglected.  Parenthood certainly brings with it whole new areas for feeling potentially inadequate if you let it, and when you uproot your family and move to a new country no amount of time spent worrying on these issues seems enough to compensate for the changes in your child’s life.

But now is the time to start our Madrid experience…and I am ready.  Intellectually I know I have to but I have a lot of momentum around putting myself last on the list of priorities that needs to change.  It feels better already to admit this.  It’s been great to feel the vicarious excitement of others in our European adventure but I don’t know that I have actually felt a lot of that excitement yet.  My natural tendency is to be a bit guarded in my reactions, attempting to anticipate what could go wrong.  My parents do the same thing, which drives me nuts sometimes in them, but I know I do it as much or more than they do.

Our move to Hong Kong had a lot of this same pattern to adjusting; however, there I had more time to explore because I wasn’t working as much and we weren’t parents.  Also, there, I got very luck to fall in quickly with an awesome group of friends through a Stitch ‘n Bitch.  I haven’t yet found that outside group that is not work and is not parenting that I feel fully connected with here and selfish in attending.  So, the exploring begins.  We are no longer moving to Spain.  We are no longer new.  We live here; get into it!  There are a lot of possibilities and things to be excited about.  All the worries and things unfinished will still be unfinished later!